In all honestly, the past few weeks have been my most difficult all year.
But, in the long run, some of these transitions will have a positive outcome. AND . . anyone who knows me at all will tell you I don't handle change well! I would like to think I've improved this lovely quality over the past year when everything and anything in my life is now 100% different . . . and all for the better of course!
I found this interesting, how the thesaurus defines "change:"
Alteration
Difference
Modification
Redoing
Refashioning
Remaking
Remodeling
Revamping
Revise
Revision
Remodeling
Revamping
Revise
Revision
Reworking
Variation
Variation
So, what's been changing?
Well, work . . . the economic climate hit at last.
Relationships: Men can be so charming, then layer on hurt and rejection = a relationship that's now become work! Do you want that????
Legal proceedings - always fun. I now have a love/hate relationship with my attorney. I'm sure that's normal.
Combine these factors and you could say my anxiety levels have climbed a little . . . okay, maybe a lot :)
Is This For Me?
Slipping down to the darkness
My stomach turns and flips
He has hurt me again
Rejection pours from his hands and lips.
The bottom stops at the reflective pool
Do you appreciate what you see?
A little girl wincing and withering
Trying to contend with her anxiety.
Our fears caused the floor to drop out
The familiar darkness to ensue
Be careful how we react
I didn't want to hurt you.
The shiny object from my past
Made my halo shine
Believe me, I'm no angel
Feeling two horns and a tail - little devil of mine.
Acknowledgments and apologies can not mend
His pain can not yet subside
He begins to question everything
But, still feels the potential inside.
I hold a mirror image in my hands
Experiences and fears too similar to ignore
It might be comforting to hold each other
Turning fear down to a silent roar.
I sense the end around the corner
It's up to us to keep it at bay
Could we be happy together?
Maybe I should run, but my feet vote to stay.
Hi Alicia, I know this comes as a surprize. I found you online blogging, and wanted to say Hi as well as if you ever want to talk please feel free to call me. I care about you and hope that you are doing well. Things have been so complicated for lots of reasons as "life" gets in the way and comsumes us. Please know I want nothing but the best for you and your family. I hope all is well. I maybe visiting Oceanside at the end of August with some girlfriends to spend time on the beach front. I would like to connect with you, if you are available. I should be there the weekend of August 28th. Please know if has been very hard for me, since my Dad died, and I don't want to get hurt ..I hope you know the sincerity I'm speaking of. It's been so hard..however I feel drawn to you as a person I can trust. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. Let me know if you are up to meeting. Kindest regards, Mary Ann
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