Another New Shiny Bruise

Who would of guessed the last five months have added up to nonstop accident proneness . . . not sure if that is even a word, but in the spirit of Alicia-isms, I'm using it anyway.

So, what kind of accidents you ask?

Well, let's catalog them:

1. Lake Arrowhead:

Did you know learning to water ski can mark up your legs? It happens if you're Alicia Graham

2. Climbing Apartment Rafters:

Want a better view of San Diego's beautiful skyline?

Climb the rafters of your apartment building because you're full of awesomeness and think impressing your boyfriend is easy. When you're stuck, decide to swing upside down on the rough, wooden beam because your way is obviously the better choice.

Scrap and bruise entire right leg in the process. Boyfriend shakes head acknowledging a poor dismount.

3. One-Man (in this case Woman) Shopping Cart Accident:

Trader Joe's parking lot. In typical Alicia fashion of not paying attention, pull the wrong side of the heavy shopping cart over, trapping myself underneath in the process. Get rescued by a friendly surfer dude who says "Are you okay?" and doesn't mean it in the physical sense.

Results: Embarrass self as boyfriend watches entire event from the car (shakes head). Suffer severe bruising to the right leg.

Listen to remarks such as "Wow, did a dog bite you?" and "I've never seen a one-person shopping cart accident before" oh, and my favorite "You're so special."

4. Softball:

Okay, so this is a weekly event . . . and to date there have been three major bruises in six weeks:

Game 2: Hit by a pitch . . . yes, it is slow pitch and the pitcher is on my team, but my entire right calf decided to turn alarming shades of purple and red . . . lasted four weeks.

Got to hear: "My god, were you in a car accident?" and "That's from a softball?" and one more, "I thought you said you play slow pitch!"

Game 3: Forgot to use glove when acting as the cut-off man for the right fielder, left knee suffered the consequences - still have swelling - going on week three.

Game 6: Took a hop up the middle, caught the ball with my body instead of my glove - again left knee, but the other side. Typing this blog entry as an ice bag rests uncomfortably on my leg.

I would not call it a good day.

5. Kitchen Cabinet:

The middle of my forehead meets the corner of the cabinet door. Would like to use "I was high on Clorox" excuse, but sadly, that just isn't true.

So, currently my left knee (both sides) is under construction and my forehead looks like it was branded with a ball bat, but hey . . . this is the life I lead.