Clarifying Moments

When dating or even when you’re married … you see your significant other and experience moments of true clarity. It is in these moments when, perhaps after you’ve just stolen a glance; you see them for who they really are; positive attributes are shining through.

The realization you experience can cause you to sigh, perhaps even beam and then you’re basking in the feeling elation.

You know what I’m talking about; the moment you find yourself in this dazed state of wonderment and awe thinking “God, I am so lucky that person is with me” or “wow, this person is simply amazing.”

There are also clarifying moments, which have the opposite affect; when their ugliness surfaces and smacks you dead in the face like a wet towel. I experience this after they open their mouth. It’s never their message, but always the delivery that resonates and in some instances can turn you off, shutting out what else they have to say.

Now, we all have a little bit of ugly in us; yes, it’s true – even you. But, if you need a tender touch and get barbs instead, you’re going to notice it. Perhaps it’s a lack of communication, perhaps it is up to us to communicate what we need in the precise moment we need it.

Are you that perceptive?

It’s amazing if you are, but sometimes, it takes us a little to identify what’s impacting us, causing us to act a particular way. Then, we can communicate it.

In the meantime, you find yourself contending with the person in front of you; trying to keep your reactions to a minimum. If you can do that – you’re winning the game.

Cause and Effect

It’s a simple conversation

On an ordinary night

Attracted to each other

Before ill-tempers spark plight

Defenses stir chain responses

Shields engaged burning bright

The blade steadily sharpens

And further strife incites

Open hostility is detected

Wounds first feel slight

More exchanges are requested

Frustrated indignation loses sight

Series of balking reactions

Defy urges fleeing flight

It’s a clarifying moment

Attraction dims mid night

Cries of distance and pain

Feel muster of contrite

Reaching for each other

Ending an arguing night