Three Spinning Plates . . .

Irony is defined as: (1): incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity.

This is becoming a reality for me. Events, people, places, and things can all have an ironic outcomes. And events or relationships with people that should be easy and simple can actually be extraordinarily difficult when:

(a) You have no idea what you're doing

(b) You're trying to do something that is either hard or you're just too afraid to do

(c) And if you're thinking "this situation or event just makes sense because it is" and then realize you're dealing with minds that have zero ability to reason and be rational.

Yes, all three scenarios completely apply to my life and I have no idea how to escape or figure out how to deal with any of them. It feels like I'm holding onto three long, skinny sticks and at the top, they each hold a spinning plate. One plate is spinning at a normal rate and the other two are beginning to spin wildly out of control.

How do I regain control, regin them in and keep everything I feel under my hat? I know, that's a tall order. I was told to become more vulnerable and I quote, "the idea of protecting yourself has not served you well."

Ugh.

Who wants to hear that?

I'm good at self-protection, frankly, I'm awesome at it.

Go distant - put the shields up - hide in my own little world. Oh yeah, I'm really good at that. But . . . if I maintain that course of action; I'll never have what I want.

How to be vulnerable and have the outcome not be ironic?? For starters, I'm going to have to give up controlling the outcome - that is definitely out of my realm of control.

I'm going to have to trust. Trust, no matter what happens, everything happens for a reason and in the manner in which it's supposed to. Perhaps that person isn't for you and you're not meant to have all the money in the world - just as an example.

I'm going to have to give of myself. I can be giving, knowing I did all I could while still standing up for myself . . . yes, I can do that. I hope I can do that - I should be able to . . .it's kinda scary though. The outcome here could be rejection and so what if it is - I can handle that too.